Introduction
The concept of “ought self” and “ideal self” is a fundamental aspect of human psychology, reflecting the tension between our actual behavior and our desired behavior. The ought self represents the person we believe we should be, based on societal norms, personal values, and moral principles. On the other hand, the ideal self is the person we aspire to become, embodying our deepest desires, talents, and potential. This article explores the dynamics of these two selves, their interplay, and the challenges we face in aligning them.
The Ought Self
The ought self is shaped by external factors such as family, culture, and society. It is the person we are expected to be, often defined by the roles we play in life, such as being a good parent, employee, or citizen. The ought self is driven by the desire to be accepted and approved by others, and it is closely tied to our sense of identity and self-worth. However, the pressure to conform to societal expectations can sometimes lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and conflict within us.
The Ideal Self
The ideal self, on the other hand, is a reflection of our innermost desires and aspirations. It is the person we genuinely want to be, regardless of societal expectations. The ideal self is often more authentic and aligned with our true values and passions. Achieving the ideal self can bring a sense of fulfillment and happiness, as it allows us to express our true selves and pursue our dreams.
The Conflict Between Ought Self and Ideal Self
The conflict between the ought self and the ideal self is a common experience for many people. The pressure to conform to societal expectations can lead to a sense of disconnect from our true selves, as we strive to meet the standards set by others. This conflict can manifest in various ways, such as feelings of inadequacy, stress, and even depression. To navigate this conflict, it is essential to understand the sources of our internal struggles and develop strategies to bridge the gap between our ought self and ideal self.
Strategies for Aligning the Ought Self and Ideal Self
One way to align the ought self and ideal self is by engaging in self-reflection and self-awareness. By understanding our values, beliefs, and passions, we can identify areas where we are compromising our true selves and work towards aligning our behavior with our ideal self. Additionally, setting realistic goals and celebrating small victories can help us stay motivated and committed to our personal growth. Some effective strategies include:
1. Cultivating self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it is okay to have moments of struggle and imperfection.
2. Setting boundaries: Learn to say no to requests that do not align with your values and priorities.
3. Seeking support: Surround yourself with people who encourage and inspire you to be your best self.
4. Practicing mindfulness: Engage in activities that help you stay grounded and connected to your inner self, such as meditation or journaling.
5. Embracing vulnerability: Allow yourself to be open and honest about your struggles and aspirations, as this can foster personal growth and connection with others.
Conclusion
The interplay between the ought self and ideal self is a complex and ongoing process. By understanding the dynamics of these two selves and implementing strategies to align them, we can cultivate a more authentic and fulfilling life. Embracing our true selves and striving towards our ideal self can lead to personal growth, happiness, and a sense of purpose.
